Importance of Restraining Orders for Domestic Violence Victims

By Kimberly Weisz and Gina Coburn 

If you’re in an abusive relationship, there are many local resources and community partners available to assist you through this overwhelming process in seeking safety from your abuser. One of the most important first steps is to talk to a victim advocate or a domestic violence counselor to fully understand and consider your safety issues and legal rights, then to identify resources available in your community (e.g., shelters, sources of financial assistance, or food banks).

Creating a safety plan while you’re with your abuser, as you plan to leave and after you leave, is extremely important. The following are suggestions and should not be taken as a guarantee of your safety. Rather, they’re intended to help improve your situation.

Identify your partner's use and level of force so that you can assess danger to you and your children before it occurs by completing an online, ‘MOSAIC Threat Assessment’ at no charge. Assessment provides valuable feedback to be considered and understanding an individual or family’s risk. Click here to learn more.  

If you or someone you love is being threatened or lives in fear, you need to take action. In seeking safety, consider if you need a restraining order.

What exactly is a restraining order? A Domestic Violence Restraining Order is a court order that helps protect people who have been abused or threatened with abuse from the abuser.

Click here to view the Response to Request for Domestic Violence Restraining Order form.

Click here to watch video on seeking a (TRO) Temporary Restraining Order. Please note: Address to the San Diego Family Justice Center, 1122 Broadway #200, San Diego, CA 92101.

There is no charge to file a restraining order. You don’t need an attorney or a police report. You can seek a restraining order at the Family Court Services in downtown San Diego, South Bay Courthouse in Chula Vista, El Cajon Courthouse or the Vista Courthouse.

Click here to access Online Self-Help Center. Self-Help will help you find assistance and information, options for working with an attorney, or represent yourself in some legal matters. (En español or in more languages.) You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-7233 to ask questions or to confidentially inquire about resources available in your community. A domestic violence advocate in support of restraining orders has the following message, “If you are in danger, protect yourself and your family and be prepared to obtain a restraining order to help keep you safe. Sadly, a restraining order can’t guarantee your safety, but it is certainly one important tool to help during these difficult times and to make it illegal for the abuser to harm or come near you. Please utilize the restraining order as part of your safety plan to help protect you and to stop you from being hurt.”

What is abuse? Abuse means to intentionally cause or attempt to cause bodily injury; or sexually assault; or to place the person in reasonable fear of imminent serious bodily injury; or to molest, attack, hit, stalk, threaten, batter, harass, telephone, or contact or to destroy the person’s personal property.  Abuse can be spoken, written, or physical.

The process of obtaining a restraining order: To obtain a Domestic Violence Restraining Order, you must have had a close personal relationship with the person you are asking to have restrained by being married or formerly married; engagement or dating relationship; having children together; related by blood or marriage or living together in a household.

What can a restraining order do and why might someone seek one? The court can order the restrained person to:

• Not contact or harm the protected person, including children listed as protected
  
• Stay away from all protected people
  
• Not have any guns or ammunition (in CA if a restraining order is issued, you cannot own or possess a firearm or ammunition while it is in effect)
  

• Move out of the house
  
• Follow child custody and visitation orders
  
• Pay child support
  
• Pay spousal support
  
• Obey property orders
  

Important Information about Restraining Orders:

• Contact the police immediately if your abuser violates the restraining order.
  
• If someone doesn’t obey the restraining order, the police can arrest that person and he or she can go to jail and/or pay a fine.
  

• Who can cancel the restraining order? Only the judge can change or cancel it!
  
• How do you enforce your restraining order? Always keep a copy with you, because you may need to show it to the police.
  
• Keep another copy in a safe place.
  
• Give a copy to anyone else protected by the order.
  
• Take copies to places where you and the other protected people go.
  
• Give a copy to those in your apartment building or workplace.
  
• If the defendant doesn’t obey the order, he or she can be arrested and charged with a crime! This order is also valid outside of California. If you leave California, ask the police or state’s court how they will enforce the order.
  
• If the police think a crime is committed, they can make an arrest. If they think the defendant violated a protective order, they will arrest him or her. If an arrest is not made, you can ask the prosecutor to file criminal charges against the defendant.
  

Do restraining orders work for victims? If you are a perpetrator of domestic violence and you abuse victims by physical or verbal abuse, are you going to pay attention to a piece of paper ordering you to not go near a victim who fears you will abuse her or him? More often than not, the abuser who already doesn’t fear the police or any other authority figure will most likely not fear the additional aspect of a restraining order. However, this is where a victim needs to consult with a domestic violence victim advocate. The advocate knows the system and can help the victim through the process without creating a false sense of security.

When in doubt, the restraining order is the extra security layer that victims of domestic violence need in order to enhance other efforts meant to keep them safe from their abusers. This protective court order will specify for abusers what they are allowed or not allowed to do.

Resources:

To get immediate help and support, call 911

The National Domestic Violence hotline - 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Center for Community Solutions, TRO & Legal Clinic –858-272-1574 

YWCA, Legal Services, 619-239-2341 

Animal Safe House Hotline, Temporary Housing for Pets –888-305-7233 

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline –866-331-9474 

Operation For HOPE Foundation - operationforhope.org

Credits and additional information about restraining orders:

courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp

breakthecycle.org