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Power Struggles with the Young Child? Try a Song

Having a song for certain tasks can really help kids get into the rhythm of their work. Here are some suggestions.

Last week I wrote about the benefits of having kids do chores in the home, along with a list of age-appropriate tasks. Beneficial. Age-appropriate. It all sounds great. But on any given sleep-deprived, over-stimulated or similarly realistic day, to get your kids to do anything at all can be work.

Cut to my 6-year old whining that her knees suddenly hurt so she can’t put away her laundry (really, her knees?), or my 2-and-a-half-year-old crying to the carpet about getting herself dressed. Yes, it is indeed a glamorous life us parents lead.

I’ve talked before about how much breaking out into a sudden story can help younger kids move through such power struggles: “Did I ever tell you about the time…?” In the same way, having a song for certain tasks can really help get into the rhythm of their work.

So much of getting things done has to do with being in a regular rhythm of the thing. So if every night you sing the same song at cleanup time, it is all that much easier to get into it—it’s just what we do at this time. Also, the singing distracts and moves time along in a joyful way that makes the work less noticeable.

One of our favorite chore songs is one that goes along with the movements of folding laundry. It’s called Butterfly High and we first learned it in a parent-tot class at my daughters’ school. It’s done with one person (adult or child) on either side of a piece of laundry that needs to be folded, say a towel, each holding two corners. As you lift the towel high in the air, you sing:

Butterfly high, butterfly low,” bring the towel down.

Wings together, we fold like so,” both step toward one another, bringing corners together as hands meet.

Then start again until the square is folded small enough.

Butterfly high, butterfly low…”

Our cleanup song is another standard, when it begins, it’s almost as if our bodies just can’t resist bending to the floor to pick things up and find their home.

I saw a very dusty gnome,

Who said it’s time to clean our home.

Time for toys to take a rest,

It’s clean up time let’s do out best.

Dust, dust, dust,

Clean. Clean, clean.

Clean our home.”

At other tidying times, or when a toy needs to be put down, I borrow from a set of tones we learned in a great Music Together class when my eldest was a baby. To my untrained ear it sounds like two steps on a scale and goes “bum-bum.” This is the sound toys make when getting put back in their home. It’s perfect that it’s two beats, too, because your hand is usually moving from your body outward into the toy-bin, shelf, basket, etc.

For clearing the table we use the old nursery rhyme “This is the Way,” but we sing: “This is the way we clear our plate.” This can be used for absolutely anything: “This is the way we brush our hair...This is the way we put on our pants, etc.”

A specific sticking point in our house has always been putting on sunblock, something we do in this day and age in Southern California constantly. So I made a special song up that helps it move along:

“Sunblock, sunblock protects us from the sun.

Sunblock, sunblock, protection everyone.

It’s the sunblock, sunblock, sun.”

That one’s silly enough for you to see that the song can be just about anything. You can even borrow melodies from the good ol standards like “Row, Row, Row Your BoatandTwinkle Twinkle Little Star.”

Perhaps there’s something that’s a power struggle at your place of late? Just give it a try, make up a simple line or two, add a tune and start singing it next time your child begins to balk. You may just find their amazement at you breaking into song is all it takes to get the task done. 

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Status Quo March 30, 2013 at 08:26 pm
Ken' "since most of the pro-active sports organizations (ASA (softball), AYSO, and LittleRead More League) have been doing it for years." "The only thing is that it won't stop those that have not been caught yet." Right up front, this is not attack of your insider view... however you make excellent case of the dubious nature of Mr. Maienschein's efforts. The organization you umpire, is already pro-active(if no perpetrators have been present within the org.) and legislation is an interference. Although the Assemblyman shares my Party affiliation as Republican, his legislation is a Progressive trojan-horse adding a layer of expansive over-governance. Ken, will his legislation improve the efficacy of background checks? Will it force lesser pro-active or ill-financed organizations to fold? Although I align myself with Scott Nelson's bottom line and sentiments, quite reticent to believe "local governments/state governments are willing to provide and pay for" anything themselves. For it is you and me, not legislators or governance that pays for programs such as these. I have found Government, highly inefficient and bad stewards of the interests of our children. In the interest of efficiency, I am quite confident in order to coach his daughter's soccer team he has passed his background check... and quite willing under my added mandate, to allow his check to suffice for legislative service as compliant.
Ken Mosley March 30, 2013 at 04:03 pm
Being an umpire of youth sports for nearly 40 years, I am all in favor of this, since most of theRead More pro-active sports organizations (ASA (softball), AYSO, and Little League) have been doing it for years. I am charged a fee by the organizations that I choose to officiate to cover the costs of this background check. I support knowing that the service that help to provide will not be tainted by those who have already been found to mis-behave with children. The only thing is that it won't stop those that have not been caught yet. It is a sad state of affairs that we have to do this, but it's because it's for our kids that we must.
Scott Nelson March 30, 2013 at 10:42 am
Having run a youth basketball league with close to 1,000 kids for 3 years, I can tell you that whileRead More the idea has some merit, the costs and time associated with it are enormous. If the local governments/state governments are willing to provide and pay for the mechanism to do this- great. If not, should be the responsibility of the parents to not just drop their kids and leave them for hours at a time, but actually perhaps stay for practices or heaven forbid actually help and participate to insure that everything is fine in THEIR children's environment.....A little personal responsibility for their own kids would be a new concept to a lot of parents...
Kathy April 19, 2013 at 02:40 pm
Well Colleen O'Connor, I have a daughter in the California system, and am appalled at yourRead More statements...Are you that blind. Did you write that and smile, patting yourself on the back at how 'stand up' and 'righteous' you are. Yes, instead of just going to visit, why don't you try spending a week, a month, more in the system...you think walking thru will give you an idea about how the treatment is. You won't even see the truth, even going for a surprise visit. I too do not condone the crimes, but you in your judgemental mindset have no idea. Yes, they made bad choices, but it does not make them all bad people, I agree the promotions to DA's should be more on the rehabilitation rate, rather than the number they interject into the system. Sad, your article is so sad. Think of the families of the incarcerated and how your comments can affect them as well as tjhe incarcerated, who already have their own guilt to bear, their own hurt, you have no idea how hard it is to be away from family, every movement controlled, missing births, deaths, children growing up. You don't think so many of them are sick at the situation they got themselves into? Do you not even have compassion as a person. You never expect it to happen to your loved one, my daughter was a working soccer mom, a devoted wife & mother, a loving person with a huge heart. Not everyone is evil or bad, they just made a bad choice. I agree, is the Gov. above the law cause he has a title??? Think about it.
aprillacy32@yahoo.com April 19, 2013 at 02:23 pm
Mike you are spot on this is what I have been saying and trying to get them listen CDCR, my teacherRead More and I were just discussing how lifers are the only inmates offered rehabilitation which makes no sense at all to me when a man serving 5 or 10 who will be getting out does not receive rehabilitation this is a cycle that is repeating it's self and there are so many family's kid's who need there parent's this has a far greater impact on our community in so many way's and different level's that we have to find a solution
mike April 19, 2013 at 03:02 am
The prison industry complex is one of the fastest-growing industries in the United States and itsRead More investors are on Wall Street. “This multi-million-dollar industry has its own trade exhibitions, conventions, websites, and mail-order/Internet catalogs. It also has direct advertising campaigns, architecture companies, construction companies, investment houses on Wall Street, plumbing supply companies, food supply companies, armed security, and padded cells in a large variety of colors.”. This country is in a state of lock em up and forget, until it hits your family or friends. I'm am in no way condoning the crime some ding dongs commit, but sentencing in California is out of control. Its called "union". Its called Big Green (Calif Dept of Corrections). Many can become productive members of society, many cant. We need a way to sort them out. District Attorneys build their brownie points and promotions on convictions, maybe promotions should be built on rehabilitation and success rather than penalty, Things that make you go Hmmmm!
Frank H. Robles April 11, 2013 at 12:07 pm
She will run.... but not get the Nomination....!!!
Gail April 10, 2013 at 02:52 pm
Yup! I agree with it all.