Teacher Gets Lesson in Life as Single Mom to Adopted Mexican Baby

About this sponsorship: In honor of the 60th anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary's historic ascent of Mount Everest, Patch and Grape-Nuts are teaming up to highlight those who inspire people around them to climb their own mountains.
It's difficult enough to raise a child in a traditional two-parent household, but Mary Scanlon didn't have that luxury when she decided to start a family 25 years ago through the adoption process.  Going outside the U.S. to ensure that as a prospective single mom she could have a child in her life only made the labor of love more daunting. Here's Mary's story in her own words:

My biggest challenge led me to discover my strength and find my joy.  At 39, I found myself divorced and childless, with my biological clock ticking louder and louder.  I knew I couldn’t rush into a new relationship, and as a high school teacher in 1987, I didn’t think becoming pregnant was a viable choice.

I investigated possibilities for adoption, and after being told I would be placed behind all couples in the process, I found an agency that specialized in adoptions in Mexico.  A year or so later, a Mayan mother and her baby traveled by bus from Chiapas, Mexico, to Tijuana, where the attorney I had met was searching for a child for me to adopt.

After several months of struggling with language barriers, traveling to Tijuana after teaching every day, finding a doctor and medical help for my severely anemic baby, applying for visas, and learning so much about the complexities of immigration, on Dec. 22, 1988, I drove my new son across that invisible border.

I was so filled with exuberance that I didn’t really think about what my baby must be experiencing, this child just under a year old who had been left by his biological mother, who now was being removed from a Spanish-speaking world to a condo in San Diego.  I truly did not understand the joys and challenges that would await us.

An Irish-American mother with a Latin child and no father in the picture was an unusual combination in those days.  I learned a lot about stereotypes and the impact of race on daily life.

I remember the middle school math teacher who said to me, "Oh, he is a bused-in child, isn’t he?" I remember the high school wrestling referee who called Alex Scanlon to the mat, looked at my son when he anxiously stepped up for his match, and said, "I called Alex SCANLON!"

I know my son experienced a multitude of emotions as he embarked on his search for identity.  I had underestimated the complexities of our situation and we both struggled with his attempts to establish his independence.

Those years became my greatest challenge.  I had no partner who was equally invested in this child’s life and Alex had no father he could call his own, even though he had strong and compassionate male mentors all along the way.  I made many mistakes as all parents do, and Alex made his share as well. Those were the most painful and frightening years of my life.  Yet love and persistence persevered.

My son and I have made great progress in navigating the mother/son waters, in coming to terms with our differences and celebrating them instead of regretting their existence.

My son’s success speaks for itself.  He is 25 years old and is an aircraft mechanic in the U.S. Navy. He has a strong and independent wife, Cassandra, and a loving and adventurous son, Jaxon Cruz Scanlon.

I couldn’t be prouder.