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Community Corner

Killing of Osama bin Laden: Explaining It to Our Kids

Finding and eliminating the al-Qaida organizer was cause for celebration, but how much do our children understand about our joyful reaction to a death?

Is there ever a good time to talk death? No. We all try and avoid the topic as it’s a depressing topic and one that is dark. However, now with the killing of Osama bin Laden, it may be a good time to talk about death with our kids. The killing of bin Laden is great and rewarding to some of us as adults as we understand, but do our kids understand?

We raise and teach our kids to be responsible, respectful, trustworthy and to keep their hands to themselves—and never kill. We don’t endorse the death of another, but by our recent positive reactions to the news of bin Laden, we do. How do we now go back on our values and explain to our kids that the killing of bin Laden is OK, good, great, fantastic?

As my family sat watching the breaking news on TV on May 1 winding the evening down, my kids were enthralled and captivated by the news of bin Laden being killed, as were my husband and I. Being that my kids are older, they knew the significance of this news and understood the happiness and celebrations taking place, as my kids did recall the tragic day on September 11, 2001. However, there were more questions by them on how bin Laden was killed. Other than what the media was reporting, at the time I couldn’t answer the “how” questions, but assured my kids that our government and military did their jobs quite well.

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The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests parents keep communication open with children concerning terrorism and war. Parents should listen to children and answer their questions honestly.

Dr. Alice Sterling Honig, professor emerita of child development at Syracuse University, is a licensed psychologist in New York state. Honig has published more than 500 articles about child development and parenting. In a story by Catie O'Toole on Syracuse.com, Honig offered some tips on how to explain bin Laden’s death and the events that led up to it that include:

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  • Talk to your children about how there are different kinds of people—some good and some bad.
  • Reassure your children that you are there for them and you will keep them safe. Tell them, “I will protect you the best I can because I love you.”
  • Help your children understand and respect others who are different than them. Give examples they can relate to: Isn’t it good when you go to school and someone dresses differently or speaks English with an accent, or maybe they like really different foods than you? The thing is, people are different.
  • Be specific when talking to your child. Tell them what happened: About 10 years ago, bin Laden convinced people to come to the United States, get on big airplanes and kill the pilots and drive those airplane into the two tallest buildings in New York City. Many people died.
  • End by saying something positive and very specific about what happened, such as: “When those terrible things happened, many people—policemen, firemen and others—did such good, kind actions to help out.”
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