How Does a Parent Let Go After Hearing Austin Bice's Story?

Also Read: Body of San Diego State Austin Bice Found in Madrid River

After hearing about San Diego State student, Austin Bice, my heart broke. 

He went off to study abroad, enjoy his college life and strive to achieve his professional goals and then he went missing. Then, Tuesday morning, his body was found.

As a parent of three children, I cannot fathom what the Bice family is going through at this time, including his friends who were last seen with him. And, the regret, guilt, anger, responsibility or the feelings of "what-ifs" they're feeling.

The story further hits home for me as my daughter, my first child to enter college, is considering studying abroad. My anger over this current tragedy kicks in and I wonder to myself, "Do I allow Austin’s unfortunate tragedy keep my daughter from achieving and exploring her goals – whether it was an accident or not?"

The “what-ifs” churn in my head. 

What if I allow her to pursue her dream and study abroad and something such as this happens to my daughter?  What if I don’t allow her to pursue her dream?  Will I feel guilty? Will I regret my decision?

There has not been much discussion recently between my daughter and I  about whether she still wants to study abroad, other than her comment a few days ago that she will be re-thinking her decision and plan of action.  I’m not sure I want to bring the subject up at this point either. But as a parent, I naturally tell myself to keep her close even though I should let her go. I don’t want to influence her decision to go if staying close to home is her decision now. Being selfish, being a mother, I want her close.

As parents, we want to believe that our kids will always be OK and be responsible, and give them every opportunity to succeed and explore, which includes studying abroad.  Unfortunately, it takes terrible circumstances such as this to reanalyze our decisions as parents on whether to allow our kids to travel abroad.  Do we hold our kids back from pursuing their studies internationally when a tragedy like this occurs? 

As we contemplate my daughter's next move, we pray for the Bice family. Not personally knowing Austin or his family, I do feel a connection, a connection through being a parent, a sister, an aunt—a person. I'm so sorry for their tragic loss.